The Monster in the Mirror: Bigotry in Action

Donald L. Daniel III, Web Editor
Jan 20, 2017
4 min read

Editor's Note: Video contains content that could be extremely disturbing to the viewer.

"We may have different religions, different languages, different colored skin, but we all belong to one human race." -- Kofi Annan

I was tagged in a Facebook post of this video on Jan 16, by a good friend of mine who has always had my back in conversations on race. It took me a full 24 hours to get completely through the video, which has a run time of just over one minute. My stomach barrel-rolled within my two-legged fuselage. My brain radioed to my eyes and ears, "Negative Ghost Writer. The pattern is full."

The array of emotions that flowed through my psyche were overwhelming in scope and range. There was revulsion, pain, anger and shame all rolled together and deep-fried with a generous helping of concern for how my mixed children are going to be received in a society where, it seems that neither of their cultures will ever fully accept their humanity.

Now, if someone (I don't care which culture they come from) wishes to stick to their own culture for the purposes of dating, as a matter of preference, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Black on black love, white on white love, etc., are all beautiful expressions of meaningful connection between human beings. When that preference goes beyond preference into talk of racial superiority, and a desire to dictate the dating choices of others it quickly morphs into racially-based bigotry. That is wrong. This is the type of thinking that gets little boys lynched for allegedly whistling at a pretty girl that is of another race.

There is no excuse that can justify this behavior. If the roles were reversed and a white man filmed a video of the guy who filmed this video eating his dinner and called him less than human, the lowest rung of humanity, et. al., the asshole filming this tripe would have been ready to fight. How does he think that that young woman sharing a meal with her significant other felt?

"We ought to think that we are one of the leaves of a tree, and the tree is all humanity. We cannot live without the others, without the tree." -- Pablo Casals

Some will say in a weak attempt at justification, "They [white people] have been doing this to us for hundreds of years."

Two wrongs have never made a right. They never will. Dr. Tony Alessandra coined the Platinum rule: "Treat others as THEY would like to be treated."

I have also heard it said: "Treat others as if they ARE you."

The profound wisdom in these simple rules could go far in erasing racial bigotry on any side in our country and around the world.

The sentiments expressed in this video will only perpetuate systemic racism by creating an environment where would-be allies are fearful to act because of the potential for backlash from their own community AND backlash from communities they see themselves as allied with. This keeps division up and running, and who wins? Not you. The power structure of racism wins. You, who stand firm in the unimaginative wilderness of your bigotry, lose -- every single time. The rest of us -- those who are fighting to dismantle systemic oppression and end the pandemic plague of bigotry -- lose too.

How dare you question the 'audacity' of an interracial couple dining in at a black-owned restaurant when our ancestors sat and risked life, limb and incarceration in order for you to have the freedom to dine and sit where you choose?

Sometimes a look in the mirror is seriously warranted. Sometimes you must ask yourself the hard questions. Sometimes healing what's wrong in our society requires us to first heal what is damaged inside of ourselves. Sometimes you must see if the monster you've been fighting in your dreams, and in your reality, looks back at you from that reflective piece of glass hanging above the bathroom vanity.

The struggle against a racially supremacist power structure should never be seen as a path to another race's supremacy. If that is the path that we are suggesting that our world take, a tit-for-tat racial reckoning, who are we at the end of the day? Are we not just the same people, struggling in the same system with the power structure inverted? That isn't progress. That is a lateral shift that will lead us all back down the well-traveled path of darkness. Isn't it best to take Robert Frost's road less traveled by?

The quest for equality is not supposed to forever keep the races separated. It is not meant for us to backslide into a modern segregationist state. The quest for equality is supposed to create a new foundation for progress, to sow the seeds of change in the fertile soil that was tilled with the amazing struggle of our ancestors. Those ancestors knew that, while fighting to reclaim our humanity, it is just as important for us to choose to recognize the humanity in others as we choose to recognize the humanity in ourselves. If you are not treating others as human, can you truly expect the same? Could you face off with yourself and honestly say that you are treating others as they would like to be treated? Can you say that you are treating others as if they are yourself?

Our ancestors realized who the real enemy was. The enemy was not white people or black people. Rather, the enemy was and is a system that poisons the mind, and teaches hate. The enemy is a destroyer of hope. The enemy speaks in terms of superiority, and thrives on division. The enemy doesn't act in a spirit of love, and treats others as if they are somehow less than. The enemy makes a sham of justice, and loves to spread fear. When you give in to your fear, and victimize others with the very hate that you loathe, you become an agent of the enemy. You become that thing that you hate so much in others. You become the monster in the mirror.

Editor's Note: An earlier version of this story incorrectly cited the Platinum Rule and its source. The correction has been made for the sake of accuracy.